I used to make my Parents proud
My parents always said that I was a good girl in childhood. Yes, exactly, WAS; because now they do not think so. (Yes, they now mean “bad”. But I didn’t want to say it because it sounds unfair to me.) By good girl they mean that I was good at studies, my teachers were full of praises and I was the apple of their eye. Studies and ranks always topped my list of priorities. And I want to stress on the point that I missed on some things I was passionate about because of that, like I wanted to play tennis and I loved dancing. But with an ordinary middle class family background that I belong to and me giving utmost importance to studies, I could never do what I wanted to. In short, I was young, obedient and didn’t know much about the world.
Contrary to this, now that I am a working, independent woman out in the world all by myself, I’ve been through numerous experiences and encounters with people. With every passing moment my horizons of knowledge expanded drastically. I like delving into interesting reads ranging from a variety of topics. As the years pass by, you feel how little you knew when you were young and that was only a tiny portion of the vast universe that we live in. You start questioning society’s beliefs and challenging their orthodox and illogical ideas where you do things and you cannot ask a “WHY?” because when you do, you get another illogical reply”Humne apne bado se kabhi ulte sawal nahi kiye! Inki himmat dekho!” And that according to my parents makes me a bad person. Be it hanging out with guys, coming home late, menstruation taboo and of course their favorite topic, MARRIAGE. Any person my age would feel that the best time to get married is when you really want to. But according to our parents, the time is decided by age. Once you cross that age, everything around you will start crumbling and crashing down. It’s like the end of the world and there will be nobody left to marry you. (The Achhe ladke khatam ho jaenge saga! *sigh*)
I have lately tried to change their perspectives or for that matter show them and make them understand what is happening across the globe by giving them examples of people with progressive thoughts. Majority of the developed countries fighting for equal rights of LGBT community and women to tackling racism, yet we in India still struggle to get beyond our castes and basic human rights. After they give a thoughtful ear to you, you might think your parents agree to what you told them. But again, in the future they’ll argue with the same set of orthodox points that our society has laid down for us.
(“Wo sab toh thik hai beta! Shaadi kab kar rahe ho. Hume logo ko jawaab dena padta hai saga!!!)
I tried to explain to them that you can be friends with a guy and that people who come home late are not of low morals. But then again, who decides those morals for us? Not the society. We ourselves must decide what’s wrong and right for us. Because at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own actions.
Change comes gradually and I feel all that we can do is keep trying to create a society that has renewed sensible set of beliefs.
– A girl trying to be the change she wishes to see